When I was little, I would fantasize that my adult self was a black woman with a glittering turban and flowing robes, standing on stage and singing her heart out.  (It was the 70s and Aretha Franklin was a God to me.)

Obviously, that didn’t happen.

 

In high school, I fantasized that Jane Fonda and I would mold my body into one without curves – tight and flat – flexible and strong.  I saw myself walking confidently in a leotard and legwarmers, athletic and tall.

 

I wore the leotard and the legwarmers alright, but I’m short and curvy – that’s just the way it is.

 

Even as an adult, I love daydreaming. 

 

When my kids were little, I started writing essays as a way of untangling my shit and rediscovering myself as a human. Occasionally, if I what I’d written made me laugh, I’d imagine becoming one of the Sedaris – Rakoff – Vowell posse, picturing all the hijinks I’d have with my new bffs.

 

Complete fantasy.

 

There’s nothing wrong with indulging in such thoughts. I love my active imagination.

 

In fact, fantasy can help cue you in about what’s missing in your life and help you find clarity and direction.

 

Using your imagination to envision a desired future can also fuel inspiration and action.

 

But fantasy can have a dark side too – especially if it’s attached to what you think should happen, how others should behave, or who you yourself should be.

 

If your fantasies or daydreams regularly make you feel dissatisfied with your current life, it’s time for either redirection or action.

 

Here’s what that looks like…

 

1.     Ask yourself what your fantasy life fills that is absent in your current life.

2.     Is that something you can and want to pursue? If yes, act.

3.     If NOT, your fantasy may be doing nothing more than robbing you of the joy that exists in your present life. It can also be stopping you from moving forward in exciting ways that you DO want to pursue.

 

The bottom line.

When fantasy just feels fun, it stimulates creativity, excitement, and inspiration.

When it makes your life feel heavier, it’s time to either act on it, or shift to a new fantasy.