How Resilient Are You?
Your Post-Pandemic Life Depends on It
We’re going to need to make a comeback.
As a world.
As a nation.
As individual humans.
Whether things go as smoothly as possible or all hell breaks loose, one thing is certain – the world will be different than it was before.
I remember my grandparents talking about Pearl Harbor and the Depression.
I remember my parents talking about where they were when Kennedy was assassinated.
In the same way, my kids remember the story of what I was doing (getting ready to take 2-year-old Max for his first pair of walking shoes) when the first plane hit the World Trade Center on 9/11.
Their kids will remember them talking about the Great Quarantine.
The stories persist not just because of the enormity of these events, but because of the way these events shaped the future.
And that’s the operative word here – FUTURE.
There will be one, and your ability to thrive in it will largely depend on your resilience.
The dictionary defines resilience as how quickly you bounce back from difficulty, but there's actually more to it than that.
The root of your resilience (what it’s based on) is a stronger indicator of whether you’ll do more than merely rebound after a crisis. In fact, it’s the key to whether you'll decline, survive or thrive.
Resilience roots fall into three categories:
RESIST
"I like it the way I like it. I need things to be like they used to be!"
It is difficult for Resisters to rebound because their ability to get through a crisis is highly dependent on people or events behaving in familiar, predictable ways.
As things outside increasingly change, their attachment to the familiar grows stronger, creating ongoing, painful friction.
Unless Resisters learn to find some sense of safety within themselves, they’re likely to feel left behind and experience a declining sense of satisfaction and fulfillment regarding their quality of life.
SURVIVE
"I’m not thrilled about how much is changing. I worry about what I’ll do – how I’ll manage."
Most of the world falls here. We don’t like change. We’re often afraid of it.
For Survivors, however, while uncertainty causes worry, it also inspires action in the form of strategy. What will I do if…? How will I respond when…?
Among Survivors there is a broad range of how quickly and to what degree people rebound.
When worry outweighs strategy by a lot, we tend to rebound less quickly, and less fully. People for whom strategy outweighs worry on the other hand, will rebuild more quickly and completely after a crisis.
THRIVE
"Although this is all scary and uncertain, I know without a doubt that I will be ok."
To varying degrees, both RESISTERS and SURVIVORS look outside themselves for a sense of security and well-being. The further outside they look, the less likely their potential for a desirable outcome becomes.
THRIVERS on the other hand, acknowledge both fear and uncertainty, but look within for peace and well-being. It’s important to note here that the world "within" encompasses the infinite space of your consciousness which includes your intellect, emotions and spiritual connection.
It is this inner peace and knowing that allows for harmony rather than friction, keeps you open to tomorrow’s opportunities which may look very different from today’s, and most importantly, elevates your capacity for greater connection and intimacy.
This Week: Growing Resilience Roots to THRIVE
Start with the MANTRA "Although this is all scary and uncertain, I know without a doubt that I will be ok."
Stay PRESENT. The attachments to the way things were or what was supposed to happen next live in the past and future tenses. All opportunity exists in the present moment. If you need reminders of some of the mindfulness tools you’ve learned here already to help you stay present, you can find them here.
OPEN up. When we’re afraid, we generally constrict in some way. Open your eyes to the good things around you. Listen to people with curiosity rather than judgment. Allow your mind to daydream about what is possible.
REMIND yourself of your resilience up to this point. Recall past triumphs as well as all of the things you thought wouldn’t make it through but did. If you haven’t yet created your Mindset Museum™, it’s a perfect companion tool for this exercise.